The internet sees into my soul

I have a new addiction. Well, it's not 100% new...I've always loved taking quizzes in magazines. It all started in middle school with quizzes like "OMG Does He Totally Want to Take You to the Dance?!" which evolved into "Which College Majors are Best for You" which eventually became "Are You Ready to Get Married?" and "What's Your Wedding Style?"

...and now it's "Which Careers Match Your Personality?"

I've taken three of these quizzes so far this week. I know, it's kind of pathetic...but I don't care. I love this crap. However, I've gotten some interesting answers. I always get teaching, to which I say, been there, done that and don't particularly want to go back. Here are some of the better ones I've gotten this week:

Store demonstrator: You know this guy. The one standing in the middle of the department store using Rachel Ray's new line of cookware, or pulverizing food with the Magic Bullet, all the while talking it up and answering people's questions. I wasn't aware that one was "meant to be" a product demonstrator, but apparently I am. Who'da thunk?

Flight attendant: I guess I get this one. I like working with people, I don't mind being in a service position, and I generally am polite and high-energy. However, while I don't mind the occasional flight, I'm mildly terrified of radiation, and the idea of flying all the time really freaks me out. I feel like I might as well just stand in front of the running microwave for a few hours before bed each night (I know, it's not really the same thing...but my fear doesn't care about rational arguments). So I guess this one is out.

Personal fitness trainer: Okay, so again, working with people while trying to help them reach their goals. That sounds fine and dandy...except for the fact that I absolutely loathe working out (at least in a gym). The very sight of a treadmill makes me depressed. My muscles twitch in rebellion whenever I'm within five feet of a weight machine. I wouldn't wish that on anyone...never-the-less be able to motivate someone at the gym. I do have my own way of working out...and it involves a certain Mr. Simmons and my DVD player...don't knock it 'till you try it.

Police officer: Ugh. I don't really know where this one comes from. I don't particularly like to be "the enforcer" nor could I wield a gun with any level of confidence. Eww.

...and then they give me Freelance Writer: Now this one holds water. I've always enjoyed writing. I loved writing stories in elementary school, enjoyed essays (that's right) and any type of creative writing throughout high school, and never minded those 10+ page research papers throughout college. I love words and arranging them for maximum impact or to evoke a certain emotional response...or even just to create a well-supported argument or deliver information. But it would take a while to get going with this one. It's all about networking, creating a client base and building up your portfolio. And where do you begin when you have no portfolio (like me)? And could I really write for hours on end everyday? I like being around people...but I guess it depends on how you choose to schedule your day, really. I do like the idea of being a little flexible with my work schedule...

So, after several fails, including many more that I haven't listed here, the internet sees into my soul. If I'm going to be honest, it might actually be dead-on, 100% correct. Now, I just need to find a quiz called "How to Go About Starting that Freelance Writing Career You've Secretly Always Wanted but Have Been Too Chicken to Pursue Until the Internet Called Your Bluff." Links, anyone?

Comments? Life-planning advice? Nuggets of empathy? Thought-provoking epiphanies? Put all of the above below. And again, for all you over achievers, share the love via links to this blog!


Have a great night :-) 

5 career tips from Peter Pan himself

Yes, I played hooky from the blog last night. BUT, that's because I was busy getting career advice via an informational interview (of sorts) with a real pro. This guy: 

That's right folks. Peter Stinkin' Pan, himself, in-the-flesh. Granted he was played by a (very talented) high school student, as were all his friends...and I paid $10 to get in...and it was a school-sponsored event...

But regardless of the fact that I really just went to my old high school's spring musical rendition of Peter Pan, I practically was blogging in my seat. So, here's what ol' Pan has to teach the Generation Y brand of "lost boys (and girls)" about figuring out what we want to be when we grow up: 

1. Don't lock (all) your windows. So maybe it would have been wise for Mr. and Mrs. Darling to lock their children's windows before they left them alone with their dog-nanny for the night. But they didn't. And boy did those kids have an adventure! A lot of the time it's good to keep your "windows" open. Being receptive to different life opportunities is generally a positive thing that could just lead you to your destiny...or maybe even a career ;-)

However, we all know that we can't leave every window open. I know that there are certain windows that closed, for example, when I decided to get married at age 21. Decision-making doesn't just depend on my personal factors, but the hubby's as well, which does pare down our options a little bit. But it's a trade-off. Choosing the marriage window has its advantages and its disadvantages...but for me the advantages make it worth while. Remember that time I had that career? This principal applies there as well. 

2. There's something about being a child that grows you up. I find it ironic that Never Land serves as a stepping stone for the Darling children on their way to adulthood. They have an adventure. They try out different social roles that they might end up filling in their adulthood. They have their first real experience without their parents. And eventually, they return to the real world where clocks tick (inside and outside of crocodiles) and people age, and they age along with everybody else. They have the option to stay children forever, but, because they are equipped for adulthood and have seen the alternative, they decide to grow up. In the real world, I think this is the equivalent to one's college years and/or early twenties. There's a window of time there where you can have adventures, be away from your parents, and not quite have to be grown up yet...but when it's over, it's over. And you move on...even if you aren't always sure how.  

3. There's something about being a child that can make you very afraid of growing up. The story of Peter Pan makes me sad for a while after each time I hear it. When Peter returns to see Wendy when she's older and she has forgotten how to fly, has a husband and a child of her own, and refuses to go back to Never Land, I get a little teary. Peter never wants their game of make believe to end. He has been happy pretending to be the father of Never Land, as long as Wendy pretends to be the mother...but he doesn't want to do it for real. Only if it's make believe. Peter has to realize that Wendy isn't going to play pretend anymore because she's got the real thing. Peter then takes Jane, Wendy's daughter, to Never Land and we see the cycle begin to repeat itself. 

I can't tell you how many times I've felt like Peter during this time of transition. I do feel like I'm playing grown-up sometimes. I'm married, I have an apartment that comes with real bills, and I do real grocery shopping, real cleaning, real life-planning, etc...but then I'll run into somebody I went to high school with, or I'll catch up with a college friend, and those people will just seem to be real grown-ups in a way that I'm not. They're out there with apartments, bills, and all that other good stuff too, but they're solving world hunger, or negotiating a better health care system, or getting paid to be artists while they're at it. I'm still just trying to find enough part-time jobs...is it because I'm afraid, like Peter?

4. Flying is easy, but it does require fairy dust. When I was little I used to always try to be magic. I would seriously sit in my room and try to move things with my mind like Matilda, or transform common objects into totally awesome swag like Cinderella's fairy godmother. I also would try to fly. I'd sit on my bed and, Peter Pan style, think the happiest thoughts I could conjure, hoping, wishing and waiting to levitate. Needless to say, it never happened. Then, during a long afternoon of my magic-training regimen, I finally realized that it doesn't just take happy thoughts to fly. It takes happy thoughts and fairy dust. 

Don't worry, I'm not going to hop back on my pessimism train again, but it is reassuring to me that it's not all gumption and optimism that makes the kids fly. There's also an outside element that needs to be present. I'm not saying that hard work never pays off, just that sometimes it doesn't, and it's not necessarily all your fault. Maybe there just isn't enough fairy dust to go around right now...or something like that. 

5. Youth, joy and freedom. Peter yells these words as he reveals himself to Hook for their final battle...but I always feel like it's just a bunch of bravado. I don't think that Peter's life is all that simple. He has Wendy and Tinker Bell competing for his attention all the time, a huge group of rambunctious lost boys following him around, pirates constantly trying to kill him and his friends, and lives in a place where racism and stereotypes run rampant ;-). Most of all, he's rejected by Wendy in the end and is forced to start his never ending cycle all over again...and who knows how many times he's done it before. He doesn't even know how old he is. 

Many stories featuring an immortal character are complicated like this (jeez, just look at the lives of all those immortal vampires sitting on the shelves of adolescent literature sections around the world). You initially think escaping death is some sort of ultimate goal, but somehow the weight of responsibility, growing old, maybe having a sub-par career, and eventually death are choice over remaining young forever. So I don't buy that line, Peter Pan. Maybe silly jobs that simply pay the bills aren't so bad after all...

Well, after talking with Peter Pan last night, I'm thinking that while growing up might not be all its cracked up to be, trying to avoid the inevitable is a much worse way to live. Even if getting older means part-time jobs, constant pinching of pennies, and a healthy lack of direction (at least for now), I'd take it over Never Land. How about you?  

Comments? Below, please. And don't forget to share this link with others who might just enjoy it!

When you get sick and tired...

Picture this:

Me, slumped on the couch, bloodshot eyes framed by ten-gallon blackened bags, chocolate ice cream dribbled down my shirt, trying to type the word "dribbled" for the 7th time in a row to no avail.

Well, that's reality kids.

I came home from the retail part-time job today and got right to work on a sloppy joe, chocolate ice cream, and the job hunt. Unfortunately, my ice cream hasn't been the only "rocky road" of the night. I'm still not qualified for anything. There are still no jobs in the area we are hoping to move. I'm getting a little worried...

So here's my game plan (which can be adapted to fit most crappy circumstances and generally stinky days):

1. Junk out on some internet silliness. For me this means watching the new uploads of some select YouTubers, reading spoilers for my favorite shows on wetpaint.com, and doing some good old fashioned Facebook stalking.

2. Take a shower. A long one. Shave the legs and everything (which is a feat for me between the months of November and May). Ahhhhhhh.

3. Get a hug. For me, the hubby works.

4. Laugh a little and go to bed with at least 8 hours of sleepy time ahead of me. For me, it's hard to wake up with the "it's a new day" mentality all the time. I find that this last step ensures that my my-job-search-is-not-moving-forward-at-all moodiness does not spill into tomorrow as well.

Mmmmmm. Ima go do that. You all have a great night :-)

Comment? Share? Yes, please.

10 life lessons I've learned in retail

Retail really is an experience all its own. Thankfully, I've boiled that experience down to 10 life lessons everyone who has ever worked retail knows:

1. The way your kid acts in my store has a lot to do with the way you act in my store. 


One of the things I really like about retail is being a creeper. Seriously. I especially like to creep on parents and the quality of their child-rearing efforts. I know it sounds kinda weird, but I just like to observe how parent A, who calmly reminds the child of his/her spending limit and asks politely for the child not to touch anything breakable seems to have a much better shopping experience than parent B, who screams things like "Get down from there!" and "Of course you can't spend $20 in here!". You get the idea.

2. Being nice when you're grouchy can actually change your mood.


There are so many days when I come to work and want to...well...create my own brand of customer service, if you will. But somehow after being fake-nice to the first few people who come into the store, I feel a lot better. Go figure.

3. A watched pot (or clock) never boils (or ticks).


Actually it does tick. Once a second. But covering up the clock on the computer or working in an area facing away from the wall clock definitely does me some good.

4. Some things are just mundane. And need to be repeated all the time.


I once folded the same shirt 7 times in one hour. 'Nuff said.

5. If you treated your family as nicely as the person behind the counter you'd be having a better vacation.


Seriously. Tourists will come in all the time screaming at their spouses, children, friends, jeez their acquaintances for all I know, and then when they come up to the register they're happy as clams. Sounds like a good way to ruin your own day.

6. No one is just a sales associate.


Or just a waiter, customer service rep, what have you. You know how you can always tell if someone has worked in retail (or food service, customer service, etc.) by how they're always super nice to others who fit that job description? That's because they know first hand that if you're mean to any of these people, you've sucked a little more life out of what could very well be an already pretty lifeless job. Be nice.

7. Don't sweat the small stuff.


This is another lesson learned from creepily eavesdropping on customers while they're in the store. I've heard so many arguments between couples about how Uncle Jim would absolutely not like a coffee mug. I've seen parents verbally run up one side of their kids and down the other because a stuffed animal is the most idiotic souvenir they could have chosen! Relax. Everybody uses mugs and little kids like stuffed animals. Roll with it.

8. Most radio stations need a wider selection of songs. 


If I hear any more Three Dog Night I'm going to vomit on the customers. Nobody wants that to happen.

9. Most men really do hate shopping. 


Nine times out of ten the husband/boyfriend reeks of "I don't give a (insert nasty word of choice)" when the wife/girlfriend asks which color souvenir sticker would look better on Cousin Lisa's bumper.

10. I can't afford diamonds. Daydreams are a girl's best friend. 


Sometimes the mugs talk to each other while I'm cleaning them. Other times the Windexed paper towel I'm using to clean glass shelves is a Zamboni. Don't knock it 'till you try it.

So yes, I have grown wise in my hours at the cash register. I hope you feel enlightened ;-)

Comment with thoughts, and share with links, but most of all have a great night!

Job search update: When one just isn't enough

When I'm in the midst of my typical job-website-browsing-routine, I can get pretty frustrated, depending on the day. Some days it seems like the only jobs in the area to which we are trying to relocate are either:

1. Very low-paying...and we're frugal people. It doesn't take all that much to pay our bills.
2. Out of my league...like being in charge of a herd of cattle, or acting as an experienced railroad track builder. I don't know about you, but my college didn't offer those classes.
3. Nonexistent...when the only jobs your search produces contain the phrases "Start Mystery Shopping Now for a Small Fee" or "Get Your Own Vending Machine Route (Commission Only)," you really know you're in trouble.

The past few days have been filled with all three of the above job categories, and it's days like this that make me think "Ya know what? Screw you, traditional workplace! I'm a perfectly acceptable worker/human being and I'm going to do this my own way! I'm going to be self-employed!"

Yeah! Take that, The Man.

Ahem.

But first, would you mind telling me how to do that?

And you know what? It turns out that when you ask The Man the above question via the internet, he has a very large variety of resources out there. I guess I'm not the only crazy on the block; there are A LOT of us, searching the internet for information on the topic often. I mean, check out this list of links found on one single website. Other similar websites boast comparable lists.

Maybe the answer for me is going to be a little more complicated than "having a job." It might be one or two formal part-time dealios, plus (in an awesome world where I am able to attract clients) some self-generated work. We'll see.

However, when it's all said and done, I'm comforted to find out that I'm not the only person who fantasizes about some degree of self-employment. Apparently all of you do too. Google told me so.

The ultimate job search solution: Sell yourself! ;-)

This week I read a few articles along the lines of "how the hell are you Millenials ever going to find meaningful jobs given this recession and your crappy attitudes about the modern workplace?" They didn't say it in so many words...but you get the idea.

The answer was similar in each of the three articles I read. Sell it sista'. Each of these articles talked about branding yourself, the principles of which are:

• Centering any materials you produce for your job search (resume, cover letter, portfolio, even follow-up phone calls) around a "brand" that you create for yourself. Everything, even personal and professional references, should reinforce the "brand."
• The "brand" should be something the company you're applying with wants to buy. This means that the "brand" doesn't actually have to be 100% who you actually are. It should be something you can deliver, but doesn't have to completely reflect your natural disposition.
• The "brand" should also be evident in how you apply. For example, if your brand is about being tech-savvy, perhaps a resume posted on YouTube is appropriate, or you could use one of those fancy smart phone barcode squares as a link to your professional website. You get the idea. 

Okay. I can see how this is important. Yes, you want to center what you can offer a company around their needs, and yes, you want to be consistent and creative with your application materials. However, in each article these suggestions were given after a list of incompetencies that Millenials struggle with. This list always includes:

• Millenials can't accept criticism from higher ups gracefully. 
• Millenials can't communicate as effectively as their older counterparts. 
• Millenials are "job jumpers."
• Millenials have a hard time conforming to established processes without becoming frustrated.

Well geez. Aren't we just little disagreeable balls of frustration and dissatisfaction. Overall, I think this "branding" idea is a fancy new way to talk about something that everyone does when applying for a job. You make yourself look awesome. You do essentially make a sales pitch where you are the best fit for the company and convince them to invest in you. However, each of these articles seemed to imply that Millenials need to create a brand that's going to cover up all of the above problems that don't conform so well to the modern workplace. Kind of like McDonald's did after the whole Supersize Me fiasco. Go to their website. Their brand is all about social responsibility, nutrition and creating a better world. Well done, McDonald's.

I guess I'm a little bit of a punk. I don't think that all of us twenty-somethings really need to conform. I see the problems listed above as symptoms of a working world that's becoming less relevant to today's young adults, and will be even more less relevant to tomorrow's workers if it doesn't change. This might just be my typical Millenial sense of entitlement coming out, but I don't see us settling for a work environment that seems like a silly thing of the past. I see us, as we become more present and involved in the working world, transforming how things are run. We'll see how that turns out with a bunch of arrogant, entitled "job jumpers" who can't communicate or get anything done according to protocol, at the helm. I jest, of course. 

Hey! You made it all the way down here! That comment box is just a little further...

...and you could always post this link somewhere, or tell a friend while you're at it. Happy Sunday!  

Personal Experience: How to decide when to leave a job you hate

Okay, so I think it's time for a little background. I have vaguely referenced this 'previous job' of mine that I left for my jigsaw puzzle of part-time experiences these past few months. Let me elaborate a little bit.

I had a fantastic college experience studying Adolescence Education and English. I adored my first student teaching placement, enjoyed my second (although the initial excitement was gone), and began a job search with full confidence that teaching was IT. You can imagine how thrilled I was to get a job teaching 9th grade English and a couple of electives in August of the summer after my graduation.

Then this happened...

First 3 weeks: For this time I was kind of in shock. I couldn't believe I was actually doing it! I was starting my career! Other staff were extremely supportive and the students were so much fun to get to know. And there were no disasters. Phew.
Week 4: This was the first week I cried everyday. I would cry a little bit before school and a little bit more when I got home. I felt overwhelmed, but not in that I'm-so-stressed-out-right-now kind of way, it was more of a this-is-surprisingly-unfulfilling kind of way.
Week 5: I think this was when I actually started talking about my feelings to my husband. I confessed that the tears were more than stress. I told him how hard it was getting to put so much time and energy into something that didn't fulfill me, or even feel like the right career for me. My exhaustion was beginning to cut deep.
The month of November: I started to talk to other people about my feelings. One particular conversation stands out when the hubby and I traveled to a friend's wedding and stopped to visit one of my best friends on our way home. I remember I was SO excited to see her, but I couldn't keep a smile on my face. I spent the entire afternoon in tears. She was shocked. Our conversation was the first time someone had told me that if I was that dissatisfied and upset all the time, that maybe exploring resignation wasn't a bad idea. I told my staff mentor about my feelings before Thanksgiving break.
December 1st-ish: I finally resolved to resign. The most natural time to leave seemed to be after Christmas break, so I put in my resignation on 12/1, effective 12/31, giving 30 days notice. This sounds dramatic, but it felt like chains had been lifted off of my body. I felt so empowered and almost even happy for the first time in three months.
My last few weeks: I told the board of education, my students, family and friends who I hadn't already talked to, parents of students, etc...about my decision. I think this was the hardest part. You wouldn't believe the judgment that many people felt entitled to, but you also wouldn't believe the amount of support and understanding I got from so many others. All of my friends were especially fantastic when they heard the news. However, there were many people less close to me who didn't understand why I chose to leave half way through the year, others who spread rumors that I was pregnant, and still others who were convinced I got a better job offer elsewhere and was moving. Wowsers.

That said, let me elaborate on what this post claims to be about: how to decide when to leave a job you hate. I think this boundary is going to be different for everybody. I had countless people advise me to "give it a year" when I decided to resign. However, I knew that the results of "giving it a year" would be increased dissatisfaction with a job that demanded 12 hours of my day, progressively crappier lessons for my students, and possible depression on my part. Let me elaborate once again....

Job Dissatisfaction
For me, job dissatisfaction didn't mean that I simply didn't like going to work. It didn't mean that my school district was difficult to work in or that I didn't like my students and coworkers (the opposite of that was true--I loved the people I worked with!). The job dissatisfaction I'm talking about wasn't something that wouldn't be present under different circumstances. It came from me and my inability to find real fulfillment in teaching. It's a dark type of dissatisfaction that's hard to shake--especially in a job that requires as much "off the clock" work as teaching does.

Crappier Lessons
Geez is it hard to find motivation and energy to create well-researched, creative and interesting curriculum when the end result is always a deficit of energy and time in exchange for no personal fulfillment. 'Nuff said.

Health Stuff
All of that energy-sapping dissatisfaction was making me sick in a lot of ways! In my short four months of teaching, I think I used close to 10 sick days for odd ailments. I would wake up feeling nauseated from stress and actually...well...do what people do to not feel nauseous anymore. I would experience weird blood pressure changes and dizziness. I would be teary at random times of day for no identifiable reason. I went to the doctor twice and both times he attributed my symptoms to stress. I would agree with that, and would also go so far to say that it was the beginnings of depression. I've had maybe two bouts of depression in my lifetime, which is pretty lucky because it runs in my immediate and extended family, and recognized the early symptoms. About a week after my last day I felt remarkably better physically and psychologically. Go figure :-)

For me, leaving my teaching job became necessary when I felt I could no longer do the job with sincere joy and the appropriate amount of effort, when it became clear that I did not want the job to turn into a career, and when the job began to effect my personal life and personal health.

Inside my own head it was a simple decision. There was no question that I wanted to leave my job. However, I have dealt with some guilt and frustration due to the reactions of others. ...And then there's that whole problem of being at square one with the "what do you want to be when you grow up?" question. Hmmm.

On the other hand, I had a great time at my new part-time job today for the third day in a row. Maybe I'm on to something...

Hey You! You made it this far...you might as well comment :-) and don't forget to share with a potentially-interested friend!