10 life lessons I've learned in retail

Retail really is an experience all its own. Thankfully, I've boiled that experience down to 10 life lessons everyone who has ever worked retail knows:

1. The way your kid acts in my store has a lot to do with the way you act in my store. 


One of the things I really like about retail is being a creeper. Seriously. I especially like to creep on parents and the quality of their child-rearing efforts. I know it sounds kinda weird, but I just like to observe how parent A, who calmly reminds the child of his/her spending limit and asks politely for the child not to touch anything breakable seems to have a much better shopping experience than parent B, who screams things like "Get down from there!" and "Of course you can't spend $20 in here!". You get the idea.

2. Being nice when you're grouchy can actually change your mood.


There are so many days when I come to work and want to...well...create my own brand of customer service, if you will. But somehow after being fake-nice to the first few people who come into the store, I feel a lot better. Go figure.

3. A watched pot (or clock) never boils (or ticks).


Actually it does tick. Once a second. But covering up the clock on the computer or working in an area facing away from the wall clock definitely does me some good.

4. Some things are just mundane. And need to be repeated all the time.


I once folded the same shirt 7 times in one hour. 'Nuff said.

5. If you treated your family as nicely as the person behind the counter you'd be having a better vacation.


Seriously. Tourists will come in all the time screaming at their spouses, children, friends, jeez their acquaintances for all I know, and then when they come up to the register they're happy as clams. Sounds like a good way to ruin your own day.

6. No one is just a sales associate.


Or just a waiter, customer service rep, what have you. You know how you can always tell if someone has worked in retail (or food service, customer service, etc.) by how they're always super nice to others who fit that job description? That's because they know first hand that if you're mean to any of these people, you've sucked a little more life out of what could very well be an already pretty lifeless job. Be nice.

7. Don't sweat the small stuff.


This is another lesson learned from creepily eavesdropping on customers while they're in the store. I've heard so many arguments between couples about how Uncle Jim would absolutely not like a coffee mug. I've seen parents verbally run up one side of their kids and down the other because a stuffed animal is the most idiotic souvenir they could have chosen! Relax. Everybody uses mugs and little kids like stuffed animals. Roll with it.

8. Most radio stations need a wider selection of songs. 


If I hear any more Three Dog Night I'm going to vomit on the customers. Nobody wants that to happen.

9. Most men really do hate shopping. 


Nine times out of ten the husband/boyfriend reeks of "I don't give a (insert nasty word of choice)" when the wife/girlfriend asks which color souvenir sticker would look better on Cousin Lisa's bumper.

10. I can't afford diamonds. Daydreams are a girl's best friend. 


Sometimes the mugs talk to each other while I'm cleaning them. Other times the Windexed paper towel I'm using to clean glass shelves is a Zamboni. Don't knock it 'till you try it.

So yes, I have grown wise in my hours at the cash register. I hope you feel enlightened ;-)

Comment with thoughts, and share with links, but most of all have a great night!