I've been doing a lot of career-related thinking today. Work was very slow, and as you'll remember from previous posts, I always advocate daydreaming on days like today...so that's what I did. Now this wasn't what typically comes to my mind when I think about daydreaming. It wasn't a pillowy escape into cotton-candy-cloud-land or anything like that. It was more of a -getting-lost-in-deep-thoughts sort of daydreaming. So, since they were so deep ;-) I'm going to share them with you.
The thing is, something unexpected has happened. Something I didn't expect just yet. I'm actually becoming a much happier camper than I was, say, a month ago...and today I was trying to figure out why. When I left teaching, I knew I would be happier to not be in a career that I really wasn't liking and was also requiring all of my energy and most of my time. However, I also knew that what I'd be going into with my part-time jobs wouldn't be ideal...just better than what I had. And then there's the whole problem of my personal crisis of what I now want to be when I grow up, seeing that try #1 was a little off base. Needless to say, I was happier, but not really happy.
But these last 30-ish days have been a lot better, if I do say so myself. Now, I'm sure that there are a lot of factors at play, like finally feeling more used to life after college, settling into some semblance of a rhythm along with the hubby (I wouldn't call us a well-oiled machine just yet, but the gears aren't squealing anymore...), and the plain and simple fact that it's finally light past 5:00pm and I may have (knock on wood) shoveled the deck for the last time this winter. But there's one thing that really stood out in my mind today...I'm finding more ways to do things I love even if it's not at my official place of employment. I know this sounds kind of silly, as if I hadn't done anything fun outside of work until 30 days ago. That's not what I mean. Rather, I've found some things that are just mine, for this stage in my life. They're not things I used to do in college, and they're not things that the hubby and I do together. They're mine, they're productive, and they're fun. I've found more time for writing, both on this blog and other places on the internet (to which there might be links in the near future...I have to make sure I'm not breaking any rules by doing so first). I've started to have a lot of fun with cooking and finding creative yet thrifty ways to keep us healthy and yum-ified. And I'm doing it for me...which feels really good.
Aaand then I took it a step further. "Ya know," I thought to myself, "maybe I could chill out about this whole career business...I'm finding lots of other ways to be pretty fulfilled." Not to say that I'm going to stop looking for jobs or anything like that--we're still moving and will still have bills when we do so. I also don't mean to say that I'm going to look for a bum job or not do my best to find something fulfilling...it's just that today, my thick-headed self had a miniature epiphany that if things aren't all sorted out in the career department for a while, I'm going to be okay. It'll be just fine.
It doesn't sound like much of an epiphany. I mean, we all know that having fulfilling activities in your life outside of work is just called "having a life" and that it's pretty bad to not "have a life." I'm not saying that I've been a total loser when I'm not working...but more that it's just started to really be meaningful for me. If this makes any sense at all, I think I'm learning how to be me without something like a family, college, a group of friends, or a job running my life for me. And I'm likin' it.
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